Babe Shaped for Christ

we are pretty fortunate ppl…after reading about suffering churches from a book. i realize that people suffered for the church of God…many were treated badly….children go without a job, without school and without parents…martyr of christ.

these suffering people of great faith…has bring me to know how marvelous is the Lord Jesus that peole endure the suffering for His sake. it shows and proved that Jesus is a living and true person and God.

Although many christian suffered during the hit of communism…but due to the love that christians endured pains and torture mentally and physically through it all….many christian died through this period of time…blood shed bodies…many people came to know the Lord….even the person who first tortured them. like saul in tarsus have became the best preacher around during his time… saving those who are lost….saul became paul.

The Lord through this all allow things to happen but again he still bless those whom he loves…by giving them more believers addtion to them. Underground churches…have to face many obstacles…that churches over in malaysia will not face….

through reading this book….i realize one thing…people like that hence they are rejected by the government and people around them yet..their faith remain strong. they cant get bibles….bibles to them are precious…and hymns an songs of praises have to be sung in mute voice…

now i realize how blessed i am…i should learn to love….the bible and the songs of praises even more…coz i have the opportunity…i should learn to trust God and not complain about my life….

blessed to be one in the Lord with the underground church…

this really have been a great impact on me…now i realize that jesus just deserve more than that….bro and sis in underground church proves that….

Every day they pass me by

I can see it in their eyes

Empty people filled with care

Headed who knows where

On they go through private pain

Living fear to fear

Laughter hides their silent cries

Only Jesus hears

people needs the Lord,

at the end of broken dreams

he’s the open Door

People needs the Lord

When will we realise

people needs the Lord?

We are called to take His light

To a world where wrong seems right

What could be too great a cost

For sharing life to one who’s lost

through his love our hearts can feel

All the grief they bear

They must hear the words of life

Only we can share

yesterday i was over the phone….with another sister in the Lord…she told me the only way to forget abt your own sadness is to be concern towards other youths…..yupyup….i truely forget my fellow little  bro and sister that needed the Lord more than me… but last night i was reminded again abt how the Lord…bring me out of my not so nice position and it was through helping others tht i forget abt my own feelings and misery….

hope that i can do my part again…stand up cass….dun do silly things =P

thank you father god for giving me the encouragement through bro and sis alike. there are just so many things to thank you about….in work and in church.

oh ya updates about life….hehe….for my friends that have been my eyes through this blog…

i’m still keeping well in giving weekly tuition for standard 1 and standard 3 & 5 tuition. but have stop form 4 & 5 classes due to the lesser time frame for me to prepare as well as cant see that it is progressing in anyway through it….feel sorry tht i havent given much time on it…and decided to stop it….instead of just giving those students empty promises….

anyway i’m still marking essays of my form4 & 5 students that are still interested in getting help in their written english….still have to keep praying for the lord’s lading in my service for him…

i’m still not sure of where is he leading me to =) but i have a lot of wishes this year for the Lord….i hope to see some of my friends get to know the lord…how about you? any plans this year?

today’s message was aswesomely from the Lord…my church elder…spoke about Cain and Abel…

Cain gave his best crops for the Lord and Abel gave his best sheep to the lord.. but why the Lord accepted Abel’s offering and decline Cain’s.

Cain’s was man’s way to offer for God…which is not what the Lord wants…most of the Lord people like us might think that we are doing and working for the Lord but it is most probably we are not doing what the Lord wants…

When we do it our way…we might go tired and it leads towards a lot of things like envy, hatred and leads to the next sin lying….today’s message was very good towards me because i’m a person who thinks as long as i work for the Lord…i’m doing will of the Lord…

but i realize how wrong was i…I needed to continue to seek the Lord’s guidance in any ministry that the Lord will put me in…til now have to focus on the spiritual life…is it well fed, happy and enjoying God’s company or is it just in recovery…just have to pray further for the Lord’s guidance….

bro and sis in christ out there…that is reading this blog…please keep me in prayers…tht i’ll be God’s useful tool…

been weak due to emotions lately…but today i’m getting better by the grace of God….the Lord has been very very Good to me…ministering to me through sisters and pastors and i truely thank God for that…

thank my friends tht some take the time to read my blog ….it really means a lot to me during this time…maybe it sounds silly…hehehe but everything to me is part of growing up…i learnt a lot through this sillinesss.. and now i’m still learning

do continue to pray and ask God to protect and help me to be a living tool for His glory…=). God Bless always….

You are my strength when i am weak,

You are the treasure that i seek,

You are my all in all,

seeking you as a precious jewel,

Lord, i give up, I’d be a fool,

You are my all in all

Jesus, Lamb of God,

Worthy is your name

(Repeat)

Taking my sin, my cross, my shame,

Rising up now, i’ll bless your name,

You are my all in all

When i fall down, you pick me up

When I am dry, you fill my cup,

You are my all in all.

I love you Lord….Thank you for dying for me on the cross for my sins…you are the only cure in my life…only remmedy for my soul heart and mind…..

was it aliff adam? i saw him in the evening? i cant believe my eyes….i was driving this evening at about 645pm….i thought i wasnt going to see him again.

he still look the same…dark tanned skin…short hair..person and smilling…window at the same level…i watch him..he didnt notice me. he was paying attention to his driving…while i was driving towards the other direction.

then later…i kind of lose my sense of direction. i went towards the pasar malam direction and later realize it was a road block. hehe lol…cassandra…you are weird…

hehe i was like aiks how come…what happen to me…haven’t you forgotten abt him…?? years back man…

i havent forgotten anything of my past…memories although have learn to fade…but still i cant forget how much i miss my abang angkat. hehe….

not tht i like him now…but it is just wanting him back as a friend….

everytime when i look back at the few crushes i have… i tend to look towards God in despair…lord where is the right person…perfectly fit for me…? sometimes i crave for someone tht is right beside me letting me know…"my dear…i’m here…stop crying, your heart;…the lord has only been preserving you for me; as he has preserve me for you.."

Dear father in heaven, i know he will be made perfect by you..i really do trust you. i trust that one day…one day that person planned for me by you, would come..maybe there would be…maybe there wouldnt be..hehe but i know that if it is what you have planned for me…i know your plans father GOd are perfectly fitted for me…=) this is why i’m glad about being your child. a little princess fitted for your another prince over the other end…or maybe your answer towards my plea is just being a single for life.

my plea is to know if i’m really to be married and have children of my own or to be single for life… i know time is the only thing we can find out…it takes time…and sustainence from you father God.

sometimes i give up waiting…pondering on things which are seen…instead of the unseen…i’ll wait for you to decide father GOd…everything seems to be in your control…since the day i give all my worries and hopes into your hands…you never fail my heart…

you dwell in my heart lord jesus…you know how i felt today…but although i’m weak right now with so many other hinderances in life…i know you understand it all…you are right beside me…i just can wait silently until my lord God answer to my questions of this in my life…

you know tht i’m praying my heart out to you everytime i face challenges…but my dear father in heaven…you just knew it all… father God would you just take this feelings off me.

sometimes i wondered how much more should i be mature enough to just let GO everything?? father you just know it all…my immaturities…my weaknesses…my worries…my not so good attitudes…my ok personality…my bad thinking and etc etc…

hehe i’m very immature….a little baby in the Lord tht just want to grow up quick like a mature christian is. Thinking that can feel better but it seems like i’m pressuring myself..trying to be a grown up…sometimes…although most of the time i learn to rely on the lord for strength…just to conclude without the Lord…i’m alrd long time in the drain…

I’m learning to lean unto him, learning to let Go and let God everytime i face obstacles ahead… maybe some ppl can see it…and maybe some cant….the more ppl do not know abt this …the better person i’ll be….

hehe coz i never like ppl to think negatively abt me…but no matter what is all happening i might not know it now, nor do i know the outcome… is to honour God always…and to live a life pleasing to my Lord…coz he love endures and i’ll never leave him this time round..i learn a lesson 2 years back….=)